Right now it seems as though I am in the middle of something quite immense. It is as though I am on the precipice of something that is far more committing than anything I have ever done before. This is perhaps due to the fact that I am, well, now a teacher and only a couple of months way from becoming a DAD.
I am now being called Mr. Crandall by over 100 eighth graders daily in four different periods. This is no joke, most of them look to me for; order, answers, questions, and grades and others are constantly testing my boundaries. I have seen testing before, but never from so many in such a short period time. Fifty minutes is short, incredibly short. One minute I am speeding around the room overwhelmed then next minute I am standing alone in room surrounded by 35 empty desks, exhausted. How could this be when I only teach for 200 minutes a day? Probably because it is 112:1.
Soon, in what will seem like a blink of an eye, I will be a Dad. Wait a second, isn’t Dad the name of my father? Not me, right? How did this happen? Why? Are we insane? Are we ready? All questions I’m sure parents-to-be have asked for generations and we aren’t any different I don’t think. As the due date is getting closer the reality and brevity of it all is slowly sinking in. I am now left with equal parts apprehension and excitement with excitement beginning to pick up more speed.
It is going to be a big new adventure…
Don
Pretty heavy reflections! Speaking from experience it will all work out -- and it will be incredible. Looking forward to talking with you guys in a few weeks.
ReplyDeleteNicely said Don, and mirrors many peoples thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI saw this on the back of a car today-
But on the other hand, you have five fingers...
I say this now, experiencing the same changes and instantly displacing the overwhelming feelings in the next moment. I go from "dreading" to "glib" to "strong" in as many seconds.
On the other hand, you have five fingers.
A nice way to remind myself at the end of a introspective period that life is good!
Hola Don ~ I believe I expressed similar sentiments in my 4/3/06 email to the Girls:
ReplyDelete"It's official. I am now scared to death, not so much of giving birth, but of living, eating and breathing a crying baby, who then morphs into a demanding toddler, followed by moody child, defiant pre-teen, and oh-good-lord troublesome teenager. What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Must remind myself of the good things: Babies are precious; toddlers are precocious; children are fun... (am drawing a blank on positive thoughts about pre-teens and teenagers???).
These last few weeks are going to be hell - payback for occasional bouts of bliss, I suppose. My back kills ALL the time, to where it literally kept me awake most of last night! My feet also hurt, but only MOST of the time.
Anyways, I really just wanted to say Hi to you all, and tell you I love you and thank you so much for all your support. I hope you each have a fantastic week. I can't believe I only have 3 - 4 more weeks to go; I am sure its completely normal for me to be having a panic attack right now. Thanks for letting me vent.
xoxo
mama c"
Don't worry, Don - you will, as always in everything, do GREAT!
xoxo
mama c